“It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.” ― Mandy Hale

Change creates fear. Changing important things creates enormous fear. Relocation is a huge change. Relocating alone is even bigger so there’s no wonder it makes your blood run cold. We can’t control the consequences, the circumstances or anything really. Why wouldn’t we be afraid? But of course, that doesn’t mean we should cancel all our plans and stay stuck terrified of what might happen. There’s only one solution: action. Action numbs fear. We are going to tackle the 5 biggest fears of relocating alone, with the underlying goal that you will do it despite the fear.

The fear of being out of your comfort zone

We all fear change. An even better way to put it is that we all dread change. It is a real and totally valid feeling that no one is willing to admit because of the constant messages we are bombarded with from all the self-help industry. Messages like: “Get out of your comfort zone! Live on the edge! Never settle! If you are feeling comfortable, your life is not moving forward! Get out there and do something!” No wonder why so many of us pretend that we are so up for the challenge to get out of our comfort zones and relocate. After all, if we admit that we are terrified of change and would rather opt for comfort for a while, we are labeled as cowards or failures in the eyes of society. Who wants to risk that?

And why you should do it anyway

I say feel the fear, admit that you feel it and do it anyway. The only way to get over your fears is by doing exactly what you are afraid of. If you are considering relocating alone and you are horrified by the unknown that’s waiting for you, I understand. It took me about 5 years to convince myself that I can do this. My purpose is to help you believe the same about yourself in a lot less time. A whole new world is waiting on the other side of fear. But before you can make the decision to set up a new life in some unfamiliar place, you need to stop resisting your fears. Allow them to come, admit that you have them, see them for what they are, then let your desire to move become stronger than your fear. Not only will you find yourself in an exciting new country or city, you will also have boosted your self-confidence and self-belief significantly.

The fear of not having a security net behind you

Having family and friends around that we can count on is one of the most secure things in life. Consequently, leaving them behind is a very scary and distressing experience. Let me emphasize that the resistance you are feeling about leaving your family and friends is normal. However, in today’s digital world you are provided with so many options to keep in touch with them that you don’t even feel you ever left them. Thus, this excuse isn’t an excuse any longer. Sometimes there are family members who would use all their negotiation skills to keep you from ever leaving the secure nest just because of their own fear of losing you. Remember, that their intentions are fueled purely by love, but that doesn’t mean you should give into it. There’s a quote from The Alchemist that summarizes perfectly the kind of love that you should expect from family and friends: “You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend. If he abandons that pursuit, it’s because it wasn’t true love.”

And why you should do it anyway

When eventually you do leave your security net behind, you find out how independent and strong you truly are. You learn that no matter what, you can make it by yourself wherever life takes you. That feeling frees up so much creative energy in you that you will wonder why you ever considered staying put. Soak up all the confidence and self-esteem you can from this experience and keep living life with no regrets.

The fear of starting your life from scratch

There are so many reasons why people decide to relocate, such as family, work, love or death. Regardless of the reason behind it, life needs to be built from scratch. There is tremendous amount of insecurity, anxiety, and fear about starting over. This is one of the reasons most people never leave their current lives even though they are miserable and hopeless. As Steve Jobs put it: “So I decided to start over. I didn’t see it then but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

And why you should do it anyway

We all fear new beginnings, but should it really stop us from moving forward, learning from our mistakes and building life afresh full of opportunity, excitement, and inspiration? Of course, the answer is no. How often do you get second chances in life? Personally, I haven’t gotten too many. Starting a new life in a new city gives you a chance to meet new people, find the job you always wanted, find your match, build a life that you always dreamed of and fill it with things that make you happy. Put yourself first for once! I promise you won’t regret it.

The fear of being alone

This is the fear humanity shares. The fear of losing everyone and everything and being completely alone in this world. It is a very real fear. The world is scary and dangerous and you never know what might happen in the future. But I’m referring more to the kind of ‘alone’ that you choose for yourself. The truth is that being alone can be experienced in two entirely different ways.  Let me explain. After a long day, you arrive home and sit in your comfortable puffy armchair sipping tea. You can call it loneliness or freedom. It’s your choice. I’m going to be honest, relocating involves a lot of alone time. What you make of that time will determine the kind of experience you will have.

And why you should do it anyway

Being alone forces you to face your thoughts and realities, everything that’s holding you back. At the same time, it helps you figure out what you really want and what makes you happy. Being alone frees you up to make new friends, look for new angles and perspectives, and opens your mind and heart to new opportunities. It’s the kind of freedom that comes from the full appreciation of your time alone.

The fear of being rejected in a new place

We all feel the need to be liked by people around us. We want to feel accepted and loved and welcomed by our new community. We want to belong. It’s a basic human need. The fear of not being accepted in a new culture is reasonable. It could happen. The same fear appears when we change our jobs, partners, schools and even spiritual affiliations. What if people reject me? What if they don’t like me? What if they judge me?

And why you should do it anyway

There are always going to be people who won’t accept you or like you. People will criticize you no matter what you do in life so you might as well do something awesome and adventurous like moving to a new country. If you let people’s opinion affect you, you will spend the rest of your life paralyzed by the fear of not being accepted. Remember this: “If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. If you associate with eagles, you learn to fly.” Find your own crowd where people accept, love and respect you. That works no matter what culture you find yourself in.     

Real results, satisfaction and confidence come from conquering your fears. Do what you are afraid of and the fear will cease to exist.

Dream it. Plan it. Do it.  

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