“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
We all have good and bad habits that influence our lives. Let’s clarify how actions become habits. In the beginning, there are innocent thoughts passing through our minds. We think once about them, later they disappear. When we give these thoughts some attention they return more and more often until they affect our words. We start putting thoughts together and forming opinions in our minds and we start telling them to our friends, families and partners. We get different perspectives on these words that encourage us either to turn them into actions or to dismiss them. Once they turn into actions they inevitably will become habits as habits are basically repeated actions.
I put together a list of 10 bad habits which influence you probably underestimate. I suggest that you get rid of these as fast as you can in order to make the most out of your life. The order is irrelevant. I added the good equivalent to each bad habit. From here it’s up to you which one you choose.
- “Stop complaining!”
Complaining is one of the most draining thing you can do to yourself and others around you. Who wants to spend time with a person constantly finding the negative in every situation?
However, the person most suffering is the one that is actually doing all the complaining. Being constantly negative and dissatisfied takes all the mental and emotional energy within you and drains you until nothing is left but a depressed, lonely mental wreck.
Before you get to this point and lose all the support around you I dare you to change the way you think. Remember that it all starts with one thought that become words then become action that becomes a habit. Invest all your energy in changing that one single thought and see how a bad habit transforms into its good equivalent.
- “Stop blaming!”
When the black clouds appear above your head and make a huge storm in your life, when you feel that you are not where you want to be, when life seems unfair, when you feel that you failed at accomplishing something, your natural response is to look for someone to blame. It is always easier to point fingers at others instead of taking responsibility for your thoughts, words, actions and their consequences.
By taking responsibility I don’t mean blaming yourself. That won’t solve anything either. Taking responsibility means accepting that fact that you are the only one responsible for your thoughts, words and actions. When you realize that you are already on the right path to solving situations and moving on.
- “Stop judging!”
A famous quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer is “what differentiates a seed from a flower is a simple judgment”. Making judgments is never about the other person. It’s always about you and judging yourself lowers your self-esteem and self-worth. Pay attention every time you judge someone else, think about the quality that you are judging in that person and put a mirror to yourself. You can learn a great deal about your own flaws thus have the opportunity to work on them. Use judging as a means of self-awareness and you can quickly turn this bad habit into a good one.
- “Stop looking for problems!”
If you keep digging and trying to find problems one day you will succeed. Nothing and no one is perfect in life. Problems will come even if you don’t look for them as they are part of the natural flow of life. Don’t make your life harder than it is already. Enjoy the carefree moments and deal with problems only when they show up.
- “Stop making drama!”
Trying to spice up dull everyday life by making a mountain out of a molehill is something us women know all too well. Even if all women do this, it doesn’t justify this destructive behavior. You spend way too much energy on dramatizing situations instead of figuring out interesting ways to make life more exciting for you and everyone around you. If you want drama, get out of your comfort zone and do something fun!
- “Stop procrastinating!”
How many times do we hear the sentences, “I will start my diet tomorrow” or “I will do the laundry at the weekend”? Procrastination leads to nothing done thus lowering self-confidence and self-trust. Only few of you were taught at school or at home how to prioritize daily tasks therefore it is your responsibility to master this habit. Replace the bad habit of procrastination with its good equivalent: prioritization and see your goals and dreams realized much faster.
- “Stop over-analyzing!”
Has it ever happened to you that you had a problem, you found it annoying, started analyzing it from all angles for hours/days/weeks until the point that your head started to hurt and still you didn’t find any solution for it but you reached the point that everything got confused? That is over-analyzing. It doesn’t solve, it confuses.
If you want to get an answer or find a solution concentrate on asking the right questions from yourself then let it go. Don’t think about the same problem over and over again. Just trust that in time you will discover the answer. There’s a famous quote that you should repeat to yourself when you find yourself over-analyzing a situation. “There’s a time for everything and everything in its time.”
- “Stop controlling!”
Trying to control everything around us including people and circumstances is a bad habit that the 21st century brought on us. It’s normal that you feel confused and frustrated with this accelerated, fast paced living and trying to grab onto something around you to feel that you are still somewhat in control. I have to tell you the truth though. Controlling events in your life, circumstances, and people around you is a delusion. You have absolutely no control over any of these things. Things happen whether you want it or not.
The ONLY thing you have control over is your thoughts. I suggest that instead of trying to control things outside of you, turn your attention inwards and invest time and effort on controlling your mind. Once you master your thoughts (easy to say I know but it’s possible), you will find life a much nicer experience than ever before.
- “Stop worrying!”
I’m sure you must have heard the sentence “worrying doesn’t solve anything” a million times and thought to yourself that doesn’t really help under the circumstances. But this sentence has more wisdom in it than you think. Let’s start with the fact that 90% of your worries are unrealistic as they are only mental projections of your imagined fears. That should already help you relax because most probably the thing you are most worried about or afraid of only happens in your mind.
More so, worrying only takes all your focus off the present moment which is the only time worth your concentration. Life happens in the present and you are missing it living in your past or future. The past is past, learn the lessons from it and move on. The future is unknown and mostly depends on what you do today. Instead of worrying, learn to trust that things will work out one way or another and in time you will have all the tools necessary to handle the situation you are worried about.
- “Stop being afraid!”
Fear is the number one reason people don’t reach their full potential or fulfill their life purpose. Fear is responsible for thinking small, being boxed in and feeling a lack of self-esteem. What are you afraid of? What do you have to lose? What is the worst case scenario if you follow your heart? The only way to overcome fear is to do it anyway. Action cures fear so go out and just do it. Replace fear with courage and see how your life transforms.