“Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” (Anonymous)
Being single in a society that puts marriage as the ultimate goal in life can be frustrating and depressing, however the key is not to give into that idea. You are not defined by your marital status, you are defined by you. Maybe you just ended your marriage or relationship, maybe you are single for a long time or maybe you never even had a relationship before; it doesn’t really matter cause these ideas work. We can all enjoy our single lives no matter what age we are, what other people think of us or what pressure we are under from society. If you are having a hard time being alone, your problem is not with the outside world. Your problem is with yourself. The good news is that you can always work on yourself. Remember this truth: “you are your problem and you are also your solution.” Here are 10 ways to enjoy being single that in turn will make you so happy that no one will be able to resist being around you.
1. SPEND TIME ALONE
In our rushing world, it’s really hard to find time for ourselves. When we are in a relationship, all of our free time goes on our partner. We work all day, we rush to different classes or to the gym and finally when we get home we need to tend our relationship as well. One big advantage of being single is that we get to spend time alone. Spend your free time becoming familiar with yourself again. Learn to enjoy your own company and become your own best friend. Spend time doing whatever you feel like without thinking about anyone else. When you realize that you can provide yourself with everything you need, life will match you with a partner similarly balanced and happy with his/her own life. That will be a satisfying relationship that can last.
2. ENJOY LIFE WITHOUT COMPROMISES
The second best thing about being single is that you don’t need to compromise. You can decide how you spend your weekends, your evenings, your holidays and the rest of your life. You are free to rearrange your furniture, invite whoever, watch or eat whatever you feel like. No one will judge or criticize you for doing the things you enjoy. Leaving your clothes outside for days, not doing the dishes for weeks etc. become non-issues. All the fights you used to have over unimportant things suddenly become irrelevant. This is liberating. Eventually, we all need to learn to accept another person in our life of course but for a while enjoy your freedom.
3. GO ON A JOURNEY OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
When is there a better opportunity to develop ourselves than the time we are not influenced by another person’s opinions, values and thoughts? I believe all of us need some professional guidance to solve our childhood hurts that might be affecting the way we relate to others. Oftentimes, we realize after a painful breakup or divorce how many things we were projecting onto our partner from the past when in reality it was our pain to deal with not theirs. I encourage you to work on yourself and put down some of the weight you have been carrying around for years. It’s not easy to face the painful realities about yourself but it’s worth it. That’s the only way to move forward and find your true self. Focusing on and developing yourself is the best investment you can make in life. Remember that you are your greatest asset.
4. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
When was the last time you spent quality time with your friends and family? We all tend to neglect our loved ones when we are in a relationship. It’s not easy to manage our time with diaries full of responsibilities and chores that never seem to end. The time you invested previously in your relationship has freed up and is now ready to be reinvested in those people around you that truly deserve your undivided attention and love. Catch up with your friends, go out with them more often, have those long talks with your girlfriends or that beer with your best buddies that you never had time to before. Visit your family or travel somewhere with them just to spend quality time with them. Enjoy the company of the people who always loved and accepted you no matter what.
5. CATCH UP ON YOUR READING
The hardest hours being single are the evening hours when we arrive home after work and we would like to share our feelings and experiences with our partner. It gets even tougher going to bed alone and wishing there was someone to snuggle with. Well, don’t get too hopeless. There is a way not only to survive these hours but to enjoy them as well. Start reading the books that add value to your life. They differ for all of us, but I would recommend reading books that inspire and motivate you to think positively and live a fulfilling life. You can find a list of 8 inspirational books here and another 10 motivational ones here. Go to bed feeling excited to start another day and remember this: “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” – Charles William Eliot
6. FIND YOUR PASSION
We all have different passions in life; however, these passions sometimes get buried under all the responsibilities and chores we carry out each day. The time you spend alone gives you a perfect opportunity to go soul searching and find the things you love doing. To some people it’s unimaginable that they actually have a passion for something. One of the keys to happiness is finding this passion and living it every day even if it’s something people around you won’t approve of immediately. Whatever gives you a burning desire to get up early in the morning, makes you feel like you have a hobby rather than a job and gives you energy every day, is most likely your passion. If you don’t know what gives you these feelings, the things you enjoyed doing around the ages of 12-14 could give you a clue.
7. LEARN NEW THINGS
Did you put your studies on hold? Do you have an unfinished degree? Is there a course you wanted to complete but never found the time to do it? This is your time. Being single frees up enough time to enroll in an evening course and study whatever gives you the edge for your next move in life. An added benefit to studying is that you socialize with people with similar interests and who knows where that will lead to. You can also take up new hobbies that fill you with excitement and joy. Learning something new and meeting new people is always fun. Remember, when one door closes 10 new windows open.
8. GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY
In your lonely hours, when you become hopeless about your future, it always helps to remember how truly blessed you are. There are periods in life that we are so focused on our problems and all that we are missing from our life, that we forget to give back. When you find yourself obsessing about being single or there are no more activities with your friends or family that you can take part in, think of a way to give back to your country, state or community. Start volunteering in any area that interests you. So many people, animals or plants need your immediate attention, love and caring that you won’t even believe. Start once a week. It will give you more fulfillment and satisfaction than anything else in your life.
9. BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF
Most of us after a long-term relationship or marriage become aware of just how comfortable we have been in the past years. Long-term relationships have a benefit of causing weight gain. That might be a benefit or a curse to you. It doesn’t matter whether you neglected your body, soul or overall your health. The important thing is that being single is the perfect time to reconnect with your mind and body and become the best version of yourself. Start a health plan. Join a gym or do any kind of outdoor sports. Create a look that if you saw on another person, you would find attractive. Practice mindfulness meditation and increase your mental and physical health. Meditation helps you find all that you are missing within you and not expecting the next partner to fill that void.
10. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM
Being single gives you more freedom than you currently realize it. You can decide whatever you want to do without any interference from people around you. That gives you a chance to go after that big dream you put aside or compromised on for your partner’s sake. Dig it up from under all the responsibilities, hurts or fears and make a plan to reach it. Travel around the world with your friends. Be spontaneous. Enjoy your new found freedom to become anyone you wish to be. Start over and dream big.